Community

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You've probably heard it before: "You're the sum of your 5 closest friends" - give or take. If you're surrounded by wankers making silly jokes all day, regardless of how amazing you are, some of the degeneracy is bound to creep in. Now imagine being surrounded by conversations about finances, spirituality, physical improvement, history, art and all things sophistication. Even if you're not the smartest person, you're bound to grow even if just a little bit. 

Where to easily find quality people:

• The gym
• Niche communities
• Airport lounges

Where they aren't:                                     

• The nightclub every weekend
• On the couch watching the game

Look around and make sure everyone in your circle (and I mean everyone) is positively influencing you. If their language and behavior isn't reflecting what you want for yourself, then it's time to elevate - which could mean less friends, but that's the price you pay for greatness. 

This one is actually my favorite, the simplest to implement, but most difficult initially. If they aren't adding value directly to you in some way (financially, a skillset, a place to stay, emotional support, etc) then you don't need them. If you can't pick up the phone and call them for help, then there's no point. Every person you invite to be a part of your network should have something to offer. Naturally you should be increasing your value everyday since its a two way street. I find that having relationships based on the concept of honest value exchange make them more resilient and is a better long term investment. The average person tries ("tries" being the key word) to stay in touch with friends and talks about superficial things like the weather, FINITE shared memories, politics, etc. With time, awkwardness builds and the connection weakens, whereas in a relationship built on value exchange you can just call after months and get straight to the point like you only spoke yesterday. There is no shyness since the relationship is practical and naturally you end up growing closer to these people because you're improving the quality of each other's lives. Once you experience this, there is absolutely no going back. Old friends might think you're being cold for not "staying in touch", but self improvement is addicting so the only way for them to stay in your life after that is to join the train.

If you've ever done any kind of sport competitively and had a voice you recognize  cheer you on from the crowd, then you should be able to relate to  the power surge that comes from having someone in your corner. Point is, when you know people who care about you are watching, you are not to be f*cked with. And that's not even the best part. Say you fail, they absolutely will not care. The only thing that matters to them is how you feel. In my experience, this would look like the boys telling me to get right back up and the ladies giving me a nice little hug and kind words of encouragement. These are starkly different approaches but with the same positive energy behind each, and I welcome both every time. This is a support system that we all feed from and use to expedite our growth. We laugh about our failures and celebrate our victories. Another great benefit is that it almost feels like the rest of the world doesn't exist - so outside comments just don't matter! It's just you and your team having an amazing life surrounded by NPCs. "Press X to interact". Does that sound egotistical? Maybe, but I'd love for everyone to feel like this too - so be sure to read the other sections.

The saying "Blood is thicker than water" is quite misleading. First of all, its just a saying and words passed down from dead people should be researched, and thought through for yourself before blindly assimilating them. Second, the full saying is actually " The blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb". Ironically, the full saying means the opposite of the popular one I first quoted. It essentially says bonds formed through community are worth more than those formed simply by being biologically related. I am inclined to agree with this more. Your biological family may not always have your best interests at heart. They are still human beings who suffer from pain, jealousy, immaturity and all the other things that keep us poor at heart, therefore they must not be exempt from being cut off. I spent time stressing this because people often feel guilty and waste time trying to involve a family member or two who are supposed to want the best for them (but really don't). Separating yourself from negativity is easier with strangers, but its more difficult with old friends and family. Anyone not obsessed with their or your elevation needs to absolutely be removed from your life. At least temporarily until you find some spare time that you're willing to sacrifice for them. This will usually be listening to them complain  or maybe coming up with business ideas they'll never act on.  I guess it can't hurt to lend an ear for a few minutes out of kindness. 

 Life is faster alone but the magnitude of every move is greater with a team - assuming there are no "snakes in the grass". The team is pointless without trust. Ambition, fitness, kindness, loyalty, etc. comes in one package. Anything less means disappointment is coming. For example, if someone says nice things, but they're fat and lazy, don't invite them into your circle. 'Lazy' means they're likely to take the easy way out and one day that could be to your detriment, and being overweight and making no effort at improvement says volumes about discipline and their self improvement mindset. Settle for nothing less than the absolute comprehensive best. Naturally you must present yourself in a way that attracts the company you wish to see in your network. Once you've found your group, the next step is to completely kill your pride - within your group, but keep it for outside. You must be brutally honest with each other and yourself. Search your mind for any emotionally charged ideas before making comments because they must come from a place of constructiveness. Understand that not everyone thinks/operates as you do and respect the way they do things. The more you understand each other, the less room there is for doubt and other useless ways of thinking that slow the group's overall development of bonds. Naturally, the concept of value exchange plays beautifully into this further cementing a genuine reason to have each other around beyond the banter and jokes. 

We've established that community  is important, but how do we go about finding it from scratch. At first I thought my situation was unique and I was simply fortunate, but turns out there was an explanation behind it. For as long as I can remember I have strived to be a forward person. My first few friends (also from similar backgrounds) reciprocated this energy. This honesty paired with the sharing of some of our most personal experiences bolstered bonds over time and raised the  standard of "Realness" we were able to tolerate. This helps you identify pretense like its written on people's faces. You also gain a better understanding of you and your people. Simply put, if you're interacting often with people who are 100% real who you've taken a liking to, it becomes very easy to spot those who you'd get along with and those you won't. People often fear being real in social settings because they're afraid it will isolate them. If that happens, the truth is you don't belong there and that crowd is draining your energy. Trust me, when you find your crowd, your hair stands up, you feel resonance in your soul and you're at your most powerful. Read the "Science of Socializing" block below for a quick little explanation of why that is. 

Before you read this, you might want to read my "Heaven and Higher Purpose" section under  the "Mental Development" tab...or not. 

If you perceive humans as just their souls/consciousness/energy then the law of attraction applies - "Like energies attract". The simplified version of this is "Humans are social creatures" which you probably heard before. Constructive interference happens when energies resonate. In physics this is basically when waves combine to become bigger and more amazing. In real life,  this is that tingly, excited feeling you get when you're around people you like, talking about something that excites you. Even socializing can be explained with science.  I don't make the rules, that's just nature.